Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Message in a Virtual Bottle

I'm a bit of an orphan, really. The only family that I can lay claim to right now would be my own little brood and my Father. All other relations were shed or lost a long my life's journey. I've always thought about them. Missed having some of them in my life.

Through the miracle/curse of Facebook I think I may have found my 1st cousin on my mother's side. Cindy. We were as thick as thieves growing up. She was like my sister. We were often mistaken for twins but I believe that was due more to us both being short thin blonds but we did actually dress alike though not identical (we were close not idiots LOL). In many circumstances we were inseparable even though we lived very different lives.

When I moved to Winnipeg at 18/19 I left much of my life behind. Painful family ties were severed for the sake of my sanity. With that decision I took on collateral damage. I lost much of my old friends and support system due to that distance and the fact that I was working full-time to be a starving artist student. I couldn't afford the long distance bills and after a time even writing seemed pointless. The drift had occurred. I was also protecting my location from some of these people because I didn't want other family members following me to my new sanctuary. I was there to start a new life.

I've already sent her the virtual message in a bottle after being so happy to just find her and typical to me, without deeper thought. I now wonder if I'm ready to open that door again even though I've missed her so terribly all these years. She's got kids and a life that I know very little about. She has no idea that I'm not in Winnipeg any more and that I've married and had my children. Can she tell me what I need to know? Would that information devastate me? Would it open old wounds? Would it be cathartic? Is this my opportunity to correct a lifetime of regret or to cause more?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When time slips past....

Its dark and gloomy out there today. Last night if sounded like we were deep into November with the wind rushing over the top of the house. I need to get myself in the game. The month is slipping away from me and Thanksgiving is in two weeks time. I have almost all of our Thanksgiving dinner already in the house but that's only because I have that food hoarding disease. I still need to put up the tree. Yes, I have a Thanksgiving Tree, and its lovely too.

The work on the costumes has not progressed beyond the body suits being completed. I still need to finish them up. I have no idea what their Halloween social calender will look like and it would be a good idea to get them done a head of time. I still need to pick up the Halloween goodies though I don't like having them in the house for too long a period of time. They tend to go missing before the actual date or I buy too much and I need to dump it off on poor unsuspecting office workers at Sick Kid's. Trust me, there are likely a few women there with me on their short list. When I worked I use to hate wives like me.

Today is going to be spent in Neutral. Both boys are sick today. Both running low-grade fevers and miserable. It will be enough just to keep them entertained. I'm sure I can find enough busy work and activities to get us through the morning and with any luck nap time will be fruitful with sleep for both boys.

The plan:

Breakfast: Toast w/Almond Butter & Banana, coffee, vitamins

Snack: Kashi bar and tea

Lunch: Lean Chef Salad w/balsamic vinegar & whole wheat bagel

Dinner: Roasted Lemon Thyme Chicken with heirloom gem potatoes and sauteed green beans with almond & garlic

No planned exercise today. Just household puttering.

I'm off now to play some wii fit with the kids. Have I mentioned how much I hate my Mii (she looks just like the running pictures :S)

Monday, September 28, 2009


After a few nights of very little sleep. I'm sitting here on the couch bleary-eyed and crawling out of my skin. I don't get anxious about much but today is a big day. As it also turns out both boys are sick. Poor L. came down with what looks to be a horrendous cold. He's been requiring Advil for the sore throat and the nose is going like a broken faucet. E. coughed in his sleep all night.

This will not make for a fun afternoon. As a result of the untimely colds, I'm keeping E out of school this morning to rest both body and mind. He'll be challenged enough by the doctor this afternoon. What I'll do with L. to keep him entertained for the hour is beyond me. Perhaps I can scrounge up the DVD player and a movie he hasn't seen in very long time. It could buy us some precious minutes of sanity. Ok it could buy me a few minutes of sanity.

Now for some of you, you know why E. is being tested. We have always known that there has been something unique and unsettling about E. From the beginning he was an alert and charming baby. Complained very little. More interested in observing then eating. Content to just be parked where the action was and throw in some skill based toys, he was delighted.

He has always been incredibly independent. A pioneer. At big and crowded play dates I'd put him down and he'd be gone like a shot, never looking back but never ever mixing with his peers. He didn't cry when I left the room. Never really babbled. Never asked questions. Seemed that he tried talking early but decided it wasn't for him. Finally started chattering after meeting his Grandfather (like me with the gift of gab) at 14 months and hasn't closed his mouth since.

The big clues were at 16 months when he started to read store signs. Driving a long and identifying Sears, Home Depot, Tim Hortons. Then it progressed to other more complicated sight words. Then by age two we had covered all the written words for everything a house could hold and moving on to the outside world.

At age three he started reading primary and grade one readers and picked up a pen and started writing. Though I had not realized that he had been writing the alphabet from age 2. I just thought it was normal for a child to scratch out their ABC's. It didn't seem so very complicated and he did it with such ease that it didn't come as any big surprised.

At age 3 1/2 he was studying astronomy texts and proved to have a capacity to memorize even the most minute of details. When he started drawing constellations with magic markers then labeling the drawings (in textbook style) instead of drawing stick people and houses. It started dawning on us that this was more than a mere idle past time.

Now all that is just wonderful but along with comes other issues. E though very smart for his age is also very immature for his age. He is going on 5 but is likely more about 3 1/2 years of age in emotional maturity. He realizes that he is different from his peers and often winds up isolated as a result. Common ground can be surprisingly hard to find in SK. He doesn't have the "friendship" skills that his peers seem to have. He can probably recall all 68 moons of Jupiter (many of them only having number codes as names) but he cannot dress himself without my help. Has no desire to play the silly games his friends play and has no patience to teach them his.

We butt heads all the time. Our relationship sometimes feels so complicated, neither of us liking each other all that much at times. Then other times as close as two people can be. I often feel like I'm doing something really wrong. We should not be so polarized. My girlfriends all make it look so easy. Why do I feel like I'm struggling so much? Why? Likely because their kids are not E. *sigh*

I have no confidence in my parenting where E is concerned and I think a lot of it comes from not believing its true. There is still some shred of hope that our boys can grow up in the "norm". Ok, so that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So we are taking E for testing to try and quantify his IQ. It doesn't quantify his potential though. There are no tests for that. His potential largely falls on his own shoulders but we need to find him a path where he can let his intellect fly and try and round him out with the "common ground" that is otherwise not easily obtained.

What we do know for sure. He will not be in the regular school board system for much longer. I have a bet that he will not make it to January at this point. He hates school. Can you imagine a 5 year old declaring that he hates school. That just isn't normal. It breaks my mommy heart too. It also means that L.'s path is going to be altered too. I'm sitting here blogging to you and L, who is 3 years-old, is spelling out "ice cream shop" and "mailbox" with magnetic letters. He's got the spelling correct too. Last night our family past time was a math game. A pad of paper and each of us taking turns to come up with math equations to answer. Not the norm considering for the last year and a half we've been trying to dumb our kids down so that they could enjoy a normal school life. How foolish was that?

Yah...Um I can't make simple change. Where did these apples fall from?

I have a feeling that from this point on. Everything changes.

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Racing with friends makes me happy. The achievement notched and a new personal best, all good. I loved that on the way home I was rejuvenated. Happy to see the trees turning colour. Cows dotting the fields. Thrilled to come home and see the chalked hockey rink lines and L's scribbles on the driveway. Happy to come home to a really hot kiss (sorry all maybe TMI) from my husband. Happy to see my kids. Shower, coffee and a potato chip treat what more could a girl want? I mean, really?

I have so much more to blog but I'll leave it at that for a while. Just basking in the "Happy".

Thursday, September 24, 2009

*Giggle snort*

The wrap up. I was feeling awful all morning. Got pretty much nothing done but I scale it back when I'm not 100% so that I can recoop faster. Got the kids down for naps at 2 and passed right out. Stayed out until 4:30 then woke up and reassessed. Felt good enough for the run so I made a smoothie to help fuel.

That was the grosses thing I think I've ever made. I purchased some chocolate protein powder and its less than delicious. I added some unsalted, unsweetened PB and some low fat milk and ice. Yuck, yuck and yuck. I only drank 1/4 of a cup and dumped the rest. The run was a 5 out of 10. I forgot my hat and was running mostly into the sun. But got into my pace by the second interval and could have kept going but it was only supposed to be a light run to stretch my legs. I reined it in and circled back to home to stretch and get on with the rest of the night.

I sit here now with a burning stomach. Not thrilled with that. I'm hoping its just the acidity of my dinner (red wine in the sauce) with the diet coke that doesn't like me. I otherwise feel just fine. I'm icing my shins as they are a little tender but then that's due to me not stretching as much this week. I will be paying more attention to that in the next days. I'm also giddy because I'm once again downloading my run to both the training software and I'm like a kid in a candy store!

I think I'll just drink some tea while I watch my Grey's tonight. Off to put the boys to bed. Yippeee!


Oh man, I'm tired today. I got my wake up call today at 4:30 am when E started crying out that he was in pain. I bolted up and ran to his room and investigated his complaint. No fever, sniffly, runny nose and sore throat. Diagnosis: Irritated throat due to post nasal drip. Action: 3mls of Advil and more sleep.

Next thing I knew hubby was waking me up at 6:15 asking me if he should get L. up. The day begins. I initially assumed that E would take the day off school and I let him sleep until just after 7 I heard a familiar squeal from his room. Upon investigation I find him playing in his bed, all happy and bouncy. He ate well and had no fever and declared that his throat felt fine. Still a bit sniffly but fit for school.

Now I'm sitting here on the couch assessing myself wondering if its just fatigue or if I'm fighting something off. At this point, I'm undecided. I don't have much planned and have no aspirations to get much done. It would be a good day to just put feet up and knit. If I'm feeling more energetic I'll go for a 2-3K run tonight.

The plan:

Breakfast (was) 2 slices of cinnamon raisin Ezekiel toast w/butter, 1/2 cup of 2% cottage cheese with blueberry compote. Coffee & Vitamins

Snack: Nectarine & Jasmine Tea

Lunch: Open-face ham, apple and muenster sandwich w/carrots and hummus

Dinner: Coq Au Vin served with 1/2 cup of roasted garlic mashed potatoes

(run-only) snack: Yogurt parfait

Exercise: Considering having my 2-3K run before dinner between 5:30 and 6 or skipping it altogether. Just waiting to see what my energy level is like.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wrap up

Wow, what a long day. The gym really wiped me out. Of course it didn't help that I didn't eat properly before going. Lunch was good and nap was good. The meet the teacher night was over whelming. We got there right at 6 and managed to get a few minutes with the teacher exclusively before the throngs of parents and noisy kids came rushing in from the BBQ. The room went from empty to packed in the blink of an eye.

We chatted with some of the other parents then took off. Husband took the boys across the street to chat with the neighbours and allow the boys to play with some of their stuff for a bit and I reluctantly joined them. I stayed for a few minutes then took off back home to get the steak on the BBQ.

Now I sit her watching Gossip Girl and icing my shins. I'll be in bed in about an hour. I need this day to come to a close.

The Plan (was):
Breakfast: 2 slices of raisin cinnamon Ezekiel w/Almond butter (only 1/2 slice was munched) coffee.

Snack: Kashi Bar (scarfed in the car on my way to the gym)

Lunch: 2 cups of Turkey Chili & diet coke

Dinner: 4 oz steak w/Caesar salad loaded with extra veg, Corona Light.

Snack: Apple w/Almond Butter

Exercise: 60 min workout burning 600 calories per my HRM


That little guy keeps me honest. I so didn't want to go to the gym this morning but that little guy with his cute little face. He loves the daycare so much that I didn't have the heart to say no today. Staying home in PJ's just drinking coffee would have been my heaven but his hell.

I had a good workout and got a lot of people watching in. The TV station I had turned on was boring after the first few mins. So I do what I do best....just watch the people do their thing while I did mine. After an hour I hit the shower and went to collect L and he was having a hell of a good time. They take the kids into the big gym and let them run with these big balls. The balls are bigger than the kids but they are having a blast. Running and getting knocked over by them. If we weren't running a little behind I would have been happy to just sit down and watch for a while.

L as having such a good morning that I didn't have the heart to keep him from discovering the giant puddles that are all over the school's parking lot. As I stood waiting impatiently (by this point I was starving and wanting my bowl of turkey chili). L, was discovering just how wet and dirty he could get. By the time that E came out of the class L. was dripping and black from the waist down.

Have you ever noticed how mom's tear into each other with their judgments? Well, I should say that it seems to be a woman thing, being a mom likely just opens up new categories to levy judgments. There was an incident with a little girl yesterday morning. It was her first day of JK and her big brother (9 or 10 years old) was dropping her off at the gate. She was clinging to him for dear life, crying because this was all so new and scary and she didn't have any friends. A very big transition for someone so tiny. It was heartbreaking as a mom to see both the little girl in pain and the huge responsibility that her brother was burdened with.

Now the back ground to the story is that both parents are on sabbatical from their jobs this year. Why? Is unknown. But with both of them not working, the question becomes, why was this little girl sent to school on her very first day without either of her parents? Deep down inside I just felt that there would be no way I'd ever miss that for either of my kids nor would I ever make them face that transition by themselves. It just would never happen. Then the thought came that I have no idea what caused the parents not to attend and who knows what they must have been facing that kept them away. Why are mom's so hard on each other? Needless to say, they have been the top story at the gate ever since.

Tonight is meet the teacher. This ought to be interesting. I have to wonder what she has to say. Last year there was a "see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil" mentality.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday Morning

Blah, is it me or does it feel like Monday Morning all over again? Perhaps its because its so grey and lifeless outside.

A better morning in respect to schedule. I didn't get much of a fight out of E. Once he was in the playground he dropped his bag and started running around with the other kids. This is a good thing as he usually prefers his own company then grouses later that he doesn't like school because no one plays with him (mostly because he's always just kicking dirt). He claims that he doesn't like their games and doesn't want to teach them to play his. All I can do is grit my teeth because he doesn't get that "belonging" is completely within his control.

Wahoo, Run club tonight (this is actually the last one of this clinic...that prospect also makes me very happy cause its on to the 10K!). I've got a new gadget to help celebrate my successful completion. Its not hard to become a running dork. I've already set up the laptop to download both into the Garmin Training Program and my favourite "map my run". Weeeeee! *Pops champagne and tosses confetti*

The plan:

Breakfast: Poached egg on Ezekiel toast w/banana and coffee

Snack: 1/2 c cottage cheese w/blueberry compote

Lunch: Two fishcakes on a bed of mixed green salad with spicy tartar sauce.

Dinner: Beef Barley Soup with grilled ham, muenster and apple sandwiches.

Exercise: Light housework and puttering, 6K run tonight.

Monday, September 21, 2009

This Girl's Got Gadget!

Whoot! I got it. Now, I can dream about other things LOL I met Cheryl at Costco today and although she protests, I still feel that I owe her big time. She has just saved me an awful amount of money.

I've got my Garmin! I'm very happy. Of course I didn't actually wait until I got home to start playing with it. I had it out of the box and on my arm before I left the parking lot. Turned it on while I was driving down Lakeridge and started fiddling before I was even in the school parking lot. I'm a junkie. I can see how this supposed cheap hobby is fast becoming one the most expensive hobbies of all time. It has now officially surpassed my scrapbook tally. No small feat I must add.

The day was uneventful otherwise. Did a bunch of errands after collecting husband from the station. Waited entirely too long at Shopper's Drug Mart for them to fill a prescription. You'd think we were asking them to mine gold!

Now we are just counting down the minutes until bed time when I'll break out the tea and knitting needles or my new magazine that I picked up while I waited at the drug store. Its no small chance that they make you wait. It gets people to buy things they really don't need.

Ok, confession, my tea will likely grow cold and no knitting will occur tonight while I try to figure out how to work my forerunner. Sigh...gadgets are good.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I was up in the dim light of dawn (6:30) to spend breakfast with my guys. Did some knitting. Put together some puzzles and made a play dough bowling alley for L. Groceries were done by 10:30 and yes, I got my free turkey. So now Thanksgiving and Christmas are covered for Turkeys. Did I mention that I have a food hoarding issue?

I've got a ham in the oven which I'll shave up for lunch meat and I'll leave some large chunks for baked beans and pea soup along with the shank bone and tuck them into the freezer. I was going to make us some cabbage rolls too but I completely forgot to pick up the ground beef and pork. So I'll leave that for later on during the week when I need to run back to the store for some other odds and ends.

A whole lot of nothing much planned for the day. Nice actually. I've got a couple of small projects that I'd like to do today. Nothing of any consequence but just things that need more attention that I can devote if I've got little hands in the way. I've got some stationary to make. The ears for E and L's costume to mold. Yes, my make work projects never end.

I am going to dedicate the next hour or so to menu planning for the week. Got a cup of tea in the works and an apple wedged and smeared with almond butter (my new favourite snack don'tcha know!)

The Plan:

Breakfast: Kashi bar with coffee (forgot to eat breakfast this morning....was in a fine sweat to go get my free turkey LOL)

Lunch: Noodles with shredded beef and Asian veggies. 1/2 an abandoned banana rescued from L's plate

Snack: for-mentioned apple with almond butter and tea

Dinner: 4 oz of grilled steak. Grilled mushrooms & peppers and a green salad. Corona light with lime.

Exercise: 30 mins elliptical, grocery shopping and puttering/cleaning.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Saturday, in hind sight

Since the day is coming to a quick close I guess I need to recap.

Getting up was a bit painful this morning. I swatted at the alarm clock on and off for about half an hour until finally I got up at 6:30 and released the kidlets from their rooms. Both seemed to be in good health today which is always a good thing. Though I think it will be L's turn tomorrow. His appetite has been a bit off today.

I discovered my still snoozing husband had the forthought to be awesome and set up the coffee maker so that when I came down there was already a full hot pot of coffee. Gotta love is heart! Besides the fact that I love seeing my children first thing in the morning (I actually really miss them when they are sleeping) I adore my morning coffee. Just knowing that its downstairs waiting for me is like a siren call. Cup filled to the brim I settled in and enjoyed watching my kids munch their breakfast and bounce about with an unnatural amount of energy.

Had a fabulous but tough run with Misty. She's got those long legs and all that speed so my pace was not necessarily my pace this morning. I did find the run therapeutic as the doctor's comments were still circling about in my mind making me second guess myself and that's dangerous. Talking it out with girlfriends is always the best medicine. I highly recommend it!

6K felt like 3K and the run was quickly over. Headed back home to have one more cup of coffee and a nice hot shower then off to a speech assessment with my littlest monkey. 45 mins later and L has been assessed as "age appropriate" Yay! Cue the fireworks! Pop the champagne. Only 8 months ago he couldn't speak at all.

I celebrated with him and took him over to Wee Bee Toys and Shit (Detroit slang for Toys R Us). Puzzles, play dough, markers and a big roll of paper. Then a regulation hockey net and some sticks (net was hubby's request) I had to get the hell out of there.

I had the sugar plum thoughts of a Garmin circling in my head the whole time I was awake this morning. Passed out for my nap thinking of it. Hoping that Cheryl would call and say road trip. She's agreed to take me shopping for one tomorrow, if we can manage to get the timing right. I love her...she's my enabler too. I still think she should get one too. Just think Cheryl, how much better running your half would be with GPS, timed intervals, heart rate measured and you could dork-out and download your results to analyze your performance :D Nuff said.

Spent a few hours outside watching the boys take shots on the net and have Dad defend. L is an excellent goalie with great instincts. E is a natural right wing. I took some of that time in between fetching the balls from the road to prune back some of my leggy shrubs and tame back the Dog Woods hogging all the space in the front bed. The pizza man pulled up just in time and we called the end of the second period to take it inside for dinner.

Now we are playing the third while E and L watch the Leafs play Philly. I think we may just be a hockey family now. I'm picking up my knitting needles in a bit to veg out and get my afghan done so that I can start in on my scarf.

Today's ranking: (scale of 1 being very bad and 10 being very good) a 7. If I'd gotten my Garmin it would have been a 10!

Friday, September 18, 2009

New Running Mantra

I just made up the greatest running mantra of all time....ready?

"I'm stronger than I think I am. Watch me prove it!" Yeah I like it too :D

Update: Coffee is off. E. woke up at 7 am with a fever (though slight) and was throwing up. Poor baby monkey. I had a feeling he was getting sick. He just wasn't himself for the last two days. It now makes perfect sense. I should stop doubting my mommy instincts. They too, are stronger than I give them credit for.

Hope he's feeling better before nap time so I don't have to call off the date. Though, its not looking good because I just got finished cleaning him up after yet another episode of up-chucking. Poor little muffin. My mommy heart hurts for him.


After a night of crazy dreams I'm up and feeling pretty good. I guess its the Friday effect! Whatever, I'll take it. I actually do feel much better. Had a good long talk with hubby yesterday and I've got a plan. I'm very much an action plan sort of person and without one I just feel like I'm twisting in the wind. "Shake it off and move forward". Good plan eh? Yeah I like it.

Seriously, I'm in a great mood this morning. Today is also a coffee with the Gate Mom's morning. We will all converge on Denise's place and chatter away like hens for two hours then go back and retrieve our kidlets from school all hopped up on baked treats and full strength coffee. I'm drinking my usual cup(s) here so that when I go I'll just drink clear tea. I can't afford the caffeine overload.

Tonight I also have a date with hubby. We are conspiring to go and see a movie. We haven't done that together since just before E was born. Yes, its been a very long time. We've had opportunities with our last babysitter but always hovered a bit closer to home. Preferring to just catch dinner and cruise around Chapters and get a latte and some books. We'll see if we actually take the bait and see the flick.

The plan for the day:

Breakfast: Oatmeal w/coffee & vitamins
Snack: Something small at Denise's
Lunch: Shredded chicken and greens in an Ezekiel wrap with a cup of beef barley soup
Dinner: Out somewhere....I'll eat clean (no sauces) and cut the meal in half before I dig in.

Exercise: I've got to finish tidying the house before the babysitter arrives so I'll likely just do that. I'm running on my own at Club tomorrow since Lindsay said she wouldn't be able to make it so that will be a tough 6K because I will not have conversation to distract me from the hills.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Follow up

Sad news indeed, another shrug. Another angle that I can check off. Its not my thyroid. Odd thing was, this doctor confused me even more than well, my symptoms. She claimed I was not low but high. Um? Not what the last four doctors reported. I walked out wondering if she knew who the current Prime Minister was or today's date? Why would four doctors tell me I was low when she said borderline high. Interesting? Not! Just very frustrating.

So now I've got one more specialist. This doctor actually specializes in Perimenopaus and Menopause. Such a pain given that this doctor is terribly exclusive. I've researched him. His pedigree is impressive. He is the most studied doctor in his field available in Toronto and the GTA. His credentials also mean that I'll be paying through the nose for his care before he even looks at my lab results. Oh well, I've done my homework. Gone at it from every possible angle with specialists. I shouldn't feel guilty for seeking him out at the expense.

If one more doctor turn and asks me if I'm depressed I am going to launch a fist! I'm not depressed...I'm pissed. Seriously! When in doubt, blame the patient? Do they actually teach that in med school? I've got hotflashes, night sweats, dry eyes and dry other things (sorry lots of info there) my hair is thinning and my scalp hurts whenever I get my period. I have little to zero interest in sex and a constant feeling of fatigue after doing only half what a normal person could do in a day.

I get anxious and frustrated easily before my gee I guess that makes me a women. Sad, only when something upsets me and that's few and far in between. Think of death only when someone around me has kicked it or been diagnosed with something fatal. Confused, only when someone tells a blonde joke that I haven't heard before. Forgetful, yeah..some days worse than others. I get angry and frustrated with my kids but then what mom doesn't? My kids are challenging but I'd be beaten in a show of hands if I make that declaration in a room filled with moms.

So you tell me, cause if I'm depressed, give me the freak'n horse pill of happiness cause I've got housework looming.

When the phone rings

For those of you who know me well, know that when the phone rings I cringe. I have this odd fear of the phone. I actually dread having to answer the phone. Its not the person that calls its the use of the phone. I think it comes from years of office work. Being on the front line of what could potentially be a career ending conversation, time and again.

Yesterday, that stupid phone would not stop ringing. It was one thing after another. First the doctor that we were set up to see for E. had to reschedule the appointment that I so painstakingly arranged. So now I've got to use the phone again to make yet another uncomfortable call to the babysitter that is likely getting pretty fed up with all the "changes" to this date. I don't blame her. I am being made to sound flaky because other people cannot arrange their calendars better.

Then a few more annoying calls. Some of which I was sure were telemarketers...yep still! Then the last call which turned the week on its ear. My specialist appointment. Originally, the appointment that I've been waiting 3-4 months for set for late October has been inching up the calendar day-by-day with each cancelation to the doctors roster. Well that call came yesterday just after nap time while I was still groggy with sleep. The call I had actually been waiting for. Just as huband requests time off in October so that I can go speak to this doctor sans kidlets. Now the doctor will see me TOMORROW! Which of course is actually today. Drop everything, hubby stay home. I'm up to bat with little-to-no notice.

So now I'm actually a nervous wreck. I am desperate for answers. I've been sick for so long and so far nothing that I've chased down has worked. No one has any answers for me. Is it perimenopaus or thyroid issues? Too many symptoms to be so easily ignored. My life and family suffer because I deal with my days much the same way a person with a chronic ailment deals with theirs.

I wake up each day with an energy/morale load of 10. There are only 4 or 5 things in the day that I can accomplish. 4 only if one of them is something physically challenging. Once I have reached that 5 in exertion that's it. Its not right and its not normal. I get sadder with every day that passes when that exertion level is reached. Naps are mandatory. I don't like the time lost to them. There is no luxury in a nap for me. My frustration at things left undone. Time not spent with my family. The things that aren't organized or accomplished overwhelm me.

So there is a lot of hope pinned on this doctor. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Oh my where the heck did the day go? I was in bed late last night due to run club and then sitting and slurping my coffee. The run last night was awesome. Misty declared it to be 6K. It actually started out cold and we were running just to warm up. In two minutes, we felt great. Running in the dark takes some getting used to.

Up at 6:30 this morning. Yep, slept in a bit. So did husband, he scrambled around getting ready while I got L his cereal and attempted to make coffee. The coffee was ok though I didn't get a chance to enjoy it. I scarfed down my oatmeal and wrangled the kids into their clothes. It was picture day for E. so you know that took some extra care. He looked so cute. I can't wait to see those pictures.

I had most of my gym bag packed and waiting by the door. I was hesitating on going since I was so low energy but L looked up at me and said "Mommy, we go to the fitness?" How could I say no?

The workout was pretty good. Ran for 20 mins (not real running so I don't feel guilty). Ran 4K then headed to the weight room and did a chest, ab and arm work out. Bumped into Cheryl, Hi Cheryl! *waving* Had a nice chat and then realized that I was running late....again! Didn't have time to change out of my gear. Yuck! Grabbed L up and headed out. Grabbed a Tim's on the way to make up for the coffee I didn't really get this morning.

Stood outside the gate and watched the kids play. Its amazing how big they've gotten in just one year. Even E. has grown an inch or two. Soon he'll be in grade one and will not want me to hang around watching over him. Too bad, its going to happen anyway. Just from a larger distance so that he can feel "cool".

The plan for the day:

Breakfast: Oatmeal, flaxseed, raisins & agave nectar (coffee that I only got a couple slurps of) and vitamins

Snack: planned kashi bar and coffee but only drank the coffee

Lunch: 2 cups of home made beef barley and an apple with almond butter (my new favourite snack!)

Dinner: Individual chicken pot pies w/green salad

Snack: Popcorn & diet coke while I watch the boob tube. If I wind up knitting in bed then I'll just have tea.

Its hump day. Means the week is half over!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


another terrible night of sleep. This time I actually slept but the dreams were outter-limits! Really violent and suspenseful. They would have made for a great thriller flick but that flick was playing in my head when I really just wanted benign dreams. Think quilting, think frosting a cake or playing with the kids. Instead, I got violence. . Psychotic stalking and more than a few scenes of knife violence where people I loved we hurt and even a dog (not my own but some other dog). I had such an uneventful day that I have to seriously wonder where those thoughts came from. What they might mean? I wonder if its time to do another tv cleanse?

Today is a partial rest day because of running club tonight. I woke up a bit stiff in my hips so that means I'll be doing some stretching on and off all day. I think I'll work toward getting my scarf on the needles today too since today is largely a slothy day. I went to do it last night but found that I still had the remains of another project on there. I'll have to finish that one or tear it back and wind it up and proceed. I've almost forgotten what I was doing with that block. Huh? I must be losing it!

Ok here's the menu for the day:

Breakfast: yogurt/fruit smoothie, coffee and vitamins

Snack: Kashi bar w/tea

Lunch: Egg salad in an Ezekiel wrap (made of more egg whites than yolks and half fat mayo and plain yogurt)w/mixed greens.

Dinner: Home-made beef barley soup w/whole wheat bagel.

For exercise: I would expect that Misty will have us run a bit further than the 5K we've worked up to and because of the intense leg workout yesterday I'm just going to leave it at that. I'll putter around the house and spend most of it on my feet. That ought to be enough activity.

Ok I've got to get my day in gear. I'll report on my successes later...(note the positive thinking!) Ciao!

Monday, September 14, 2009


it was a good workout. Though it wasn't an awesome workout because I forgot my ipod on the kitchen counter. I'm not a big fan of the tunes the gym blasts out and because I only warmed up on the treadmill I didn't have the tv to drown it out. I did a leg workout today and from the way I felt when I was making my way down the stairs to the daycare to collect L, I'll be hurting either tomorrow or Wednesday. I vote Wednesday since I will not need to run. Yep, we all know it will not work that way!

After my leg workout I ran 2 more miles (having completed one in the warm up) for a grand total of 4.8 km. I don't feel bad about running in addition to the weights because it was only an elliptical run...not real, not even close *wink* so it was just an imaginary run! How's that for justification of appeasing the monkey that sits on my back?

I didn't seem to have as much time this morning as I needed to get both boys ready, fed and out the door and didn't get to eat my proper breakfast. I had planned oatmeal but it just didn't happen.

The plan:
Breakfast (was oatmeal) got a nectarine, coffee and kashi bar
Snack: a large decaf w/cream on my way back from the gym
Lunch: Two fishcakes with 1/2 cup of leftover mashed potatoes and 1 sliced tomato
Dinner: Roasted chicken, 1/2 cup wild rice pilaf and as much steamed broccoli as I want.

Tonight, I need to do some laundry and tidy up the living room. You wouldn't believe the shape its in for us not being here all morning. I think I have dirty fairies. They break in and dirty up the joint just to make me look lazy! I need to find the chemicals so that I can clean the fish tank and move it into L's room. I purchased a toaster oven last night and need the counter space. Of course I could always put my blender away *shiver* nahhhh

I'm dragging my butt now. Must be all the exercise and fresh air. A good soak in Epsom salts and grapefruit extract oil would be a nice treat too. Part of the plan is to be in bed and lights out at 10pm to help make up for the horrible nights sleep.

Rise and Shine

That's a tall order after what could only be described as a craptacular night sleep. Husband was restless so I was restless. Then at some obscure hour the kids bathtub toys (held in a net that suction cups to the tile) feel into the bath tub with a horrendous noise. Took a few minutes to fall back asleep after that. Then before I knew it, hubby was kissing me good-bye and it was time to get up.

Oh well. Its breakfast time and I've got to herd E downstairs and get him ready. I'll post my plan with me post workout wrap up.

Have a great morning!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sunday Night

Its the end of the weekend. Yuck! Oh well, I've got to embrace it. It was a nice weekend. I got the body suit done for L's costume. Yeah I know, I'm the queen of procrastination! I've got to get cracking on the rest of the costume pieces. I figure I've still got about 40% more to do on E's and 25% on L's.

The plan for the day was:
Breakfast: 2 slices of Ezekiel with Almond butter
(was distracted by cleaning and trying to make up a new playlist to have a snack)

Lunch: Turkey Chili & tea

Dinner: 4 oz Prime Rib (all fat trimmed) mashed potatoes and green beans

I spent the whole afternoon slaving away over the sewing machine then making dinner. After dinner husband, the sweetie cleared the dinner dishes away and allowed me to escape to Wal-Mart. I've been meaning to buy a toaster oven forever. It seems so wasteful to heat the house up to fix some nuggets for the boy's lunch. I wandered up and down the aisles just looking at this and that. It was actually nice. I like that place when its completely empty of all other shoppers.

I was a bit naughty and picked up some fab wool, a grey, black loopy yarn to make myself a new deluxe scarf this year. A little treat for myself. I plan to get to work on it next month at my first cold weather Stitch n' Bitch. I've also found the perfect trim for it! I was actually able to stand in an aisle and read a quilting magazine without anyone bugging me.

Now that I've got my gym back packed and waiting by the door for tomorrow. I've got my feet up and I'm planning the menu for the week. It will be a busy one ending in a date night on Friday. Yep that's right. We've got a new babysitter! JOY!

Ok need to get back to work.

I'm so distractable

I just spent the last 20 mins completely enraptured by running skirts online. I almost pulled out my credit card when I realized that I need winter gear not summer gear and worse than that, I haven't earned a new running skirt.

I've got to stem the tide of weight drift and get myself back to the gym. I'm feeling a bit more energetic these days. I'm not sure if that's just because of the change in season but I think I can endure a bit more in my day than what I'm currently doing. Starting tomorrow. I'll just put my stuff by the door to take with us when we go to drop E off. L will like the switch up in routine too.

Gahhh can't get the running skirts out of my head!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Blog, baby blog!

Wow the day is almost over and I haven't had a chance to sit down to blog. Huh? How does that happen on a Saturday of all days? Apparently, today, quite easily. Got up late. 7 am. Had to make my own pot of coffee! Hissssssssssss

Then scarfed down a kashi bar because anything else just wasn't going to sit well. Got dressed for run club and headed out the door. Run was fabulous! Got caught up with Lindsay while we ran our 5.5K along side of some of the people running the Brooklin Run. We passed an older lady and we cheered her on to hear her say that she doesn't walk but she does this walk/run once a year! Shame she was so good at it. She should really do it daily, even twice a day!

After the run, I had just enough time to scramble home, shower and get out the door with family for brunch. We haven't done that in about a year. It was such a fun treat and I couldn't believe how much food E was putting away. When I had finished my feast (and it was a feast) I brought L to the bathroom to wash all the sticky syrup off his hands and puss. When we got back to the table I found out that hubby had made E a deal. If he ate all the scrambled eggs on his plate (after three big pancakes and a few strips of bacon!) that we'd take him golfing.

That boy stuffed his face so fast it was like he had never seen eggs before. So there it was, off to mini-putt. We had a blast. It lasted for about an hour or so and when the balls went down the hole at the 18th green both boys watched them go and speculated about where they'd wind up. We watched a gentlemen go a couple rounds in the batting cage. No doubt we were upsetting him. The boys are hardly quiet and it must have been a lot of pressure but he was good. He hit every ball and sent them into the home run zone. Good fun.

We returned home just in time for a few purple Popsicles and naptime. They kids are still snoozing (I should really go get them up) and the wild rice pilaf is cooking on the stove. In a few minutes I'll have to get on with the rest of the evening. Shattering the illusion of quiet.

The food plan for the day:

Breakfast: Kashi bar & coffee (vitamins)
Brunch: 2 eggs, ham, sausage & bacon, home fries and 1/2 of a pancake w/syrup. Vat o'coffee.
Dinner: Grilled honey glazed porkloin chops, wild rice pilaf and green beans.

I have a craving for Challah so I'll be elbow deep in dough tomorrow morning while drinking my first coffee. A fall right of passage. We may do our U-pick apple hunting tomorrow. Honey Crisps. My second favourite apple in the whole world. First favourite being the allusive Northern Spy.

Friday, September 11, 2009


If there were a good day to drink, this would have been the day! The boys were awesome for me until we had to wait in that waiting room. I'm surrounded by pregnant women (only one had an older child). We arrived on time for my appointment but from the look of the waiting room, no one was getting in on time. We waiting for more than an hour to see the doctor and during that time I had to take L. out of the room twice to "talk" to him. We had gone through all our books and toys and I asked to be rescheduled once (but was told it would only be a few short mins longer..yeah right).

The whole time we are there I'm getting stares and exasperated sighs from the other women, with that "I'm a better parent before I actually have kids" attitude. I just smirked at one of them and said "well this is what you'll have to look forward too" She changed her 'tude fast. A look of panic flashed across her face. I was happy in that moment.

I was so upset by the kids behaviour that by the time I was strapping them calmly into the carseats I had declared that McD's was off. I wasn't going to reward them with a treat for that bad bit of behaviour and that if they pressed the matter any further they'd be spending a whole lot of time in their rooms "thinking" about what they'd done to make me so mad.

It was a quiet car ride home. As soon as, we were home and lunch had been served they quieted right down. In comparison with their behaviour not more than an hour before, it was just plain creepy. Like they had formed an alliance and were going to burn down the house together with me in my bed tonight.

Their quiet good behaviour didn't last long. After naptime they were back in full force. I made some quick sandwiches and soup for dinner and husband and I rounded up the monkeys and took them to the park. They ran and jumped and played in the dirt. Hung from the equipment and made some friends. It was nice. I was tempted to put up a tent and just let them stay there. But no sooner than our count down was over they launched into another triade. All the way home and into the bath. Then I guess they crashed.

L. was his normal angelic self. He choose his book. Asked for his water. Sat nicely while I read his book. Said his prayers. Cuddled and then allowed me to leave without any pleas for more of this or that. E did his business on the toilet and then dad put him to bed without so much as a peep after prayers. The house is quiet. Now I'm really scared! What have they agreed to do? eeekkkk

I'm debating popping some popcorn and watch Vampire Diaries. I've only got one hour until bedtime. Is it enough time? Hmmmm I mostly just want to hide under my bed because today was a hellish day. I am proud of myself though. I didn't "lose" it at any point. I didn't yell. I managed to maintain. Or had I mentally checked-out? Good question. Perhaps its shell shock.

Night ladies!

Friday Morning

I am up with the chickens today. 6:o5 am. Ahead of my alarm clock. I was having an idiotic dream and I'd kill to find out what it meant because surely the location of the dream has a significant meaning. Weird...

I thought if I got out of bed (in the dark too I might add....yep its that time of year!) that I could treat myself to a cup of coffee in some peace and quiet. Clearly, I need to give up on that notion. In his room, I could hear L chattering away to himself. Monkey! So I brought him downstairs and hooked him up with some breakfast and chatting with husband before he left for work. It was nice to see him before he went to the office. Its been a long time since I was up that early.

So now I sit here blogging. We've decided to search for a doctor who could test E. I mentioned this yesterday. Now we are not looking for a label so much as we are looking for a course of action. We know he's smarter than the average bear. That's painfully obvious. We just want an educated guess as to where we should place him for schooling. Either private or home schooling. I've already asked E if he'd like for me to start teaching him more in depth Geography, History and Math and he bounced around in a very happy receptive manner. So I'll take it that he was delighted with that prospect.

I have a support system in place for educational materials. I could get my hands on most of it with a few hours. I have both a girl friend who has home schooled and a vast virtual support group to turn to if I had questions. Why I have resisted doing this before, I am no longer quite sure. Why wasn't I doing this before? Oh yes, I was trying to dumb him down so that he could fit in when he went to school....Did it work? Hell, no!

This morning I'm off to my OB appointment. I'm not sure if this is a waste of time or what? The RX has helped a little but not nearly as much as I wished it would. Its only been three months, I'm not sure if it will get better the longer I take it? So I'll travel with the boys to Markham to see. I'll stop at McDonald's on the way home for the boys. I'll ask them if they'd like to go in and play or take their food home. They may be tired after tagging along behind me all morning.

The Food Plan of the day is:

Breakfast: 2 slices of Ezekiel bread w/nut butter and fruit, coffee, vitamins

Snack: Kashi bar and tea (while headed to my appt)

Lunch: Leftover Chicken Cordon Blue with a side green salad

Dinner: Grilled Prosciutto and Muenster, spinach sandwich (on Ezekiel) w/cucumber salad

Snack: popcorn & diet cf coke.

Ok its nearly time to put the laptop away. I've got things to get too and I can hear E horsing around in his room. Time to herd him downstairs to his chair and serve him up some breakfast. He'd stay in there playing all day if I didn't go and drag him out.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thursday Wrap-up

A great day all-in-all. Got away from my computer for most of the day and got lots done. Came back while I ate my snack and lunch and had enough time to organize a coffee morning for next month and catch up with some planning.

Dinner was phenomenal but unfortunately my timing is off these days. Husband and E decided they were going to Karate tonight (I was sure that they weren't going back until next week) but it pushed dinner back until just after 7 when they walked in the door. It was also a larger dinner so I'm sitting her at 8 pm with a full tummy. There will be no 4K run tonight. Am I crushed? No, now that I know that I'm almost back to normal I'm not so antsy about taking the time off. I expect my run on Saturday to be really good.

The plan to be in bed, lights out at 10 pm is a very good idea. I get up with a bit more bounce in my step and feel a bit more centered in my day. Eventually, its my plan to wean off the naps. Using that time to quilt and entertain E. I'm really hoping that one of the specialist I'll see in the next three months can fix me. I'm tired of functioning on 55% energy.

I'll especially need to be back to normal if I choose to home school E. I'm still on a wait and see basis with that. Today, I was called to the gate. E prefers to sit in the dirt and throw it around rather then play with his peers. When asked why he doesn't play with the other boys he says that he has no interest in their games and doesn't want to take the time to teach them his games. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I worry that the gap will widen. I have no idea how to get him to mix with his peers. It seems odd that he doesn't even want too. Husband and I are now convinced that its time to test him to see if we need to be looking for private accelerated schooling. Its a hard place to be because I find myself constantly reminding myself that he's only 4 turning 5 next month. What should the expectation be? Is it normal for a child to not want the company of peers? I say normal but then E has never exactly followed any sort of normal pattern. He likes to play with his brother, as his brother usually plays the same kinds of games E enjoys. If he has a friend over and they are playing Wii then there's a common ground and E is fine to play or to watch. Karate, is much the same. What to do? What to do? What to do? I wonder if there will ever be a day when I'm not wringing my hands in worry.

Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breathe in......Breathe out...... pheww that feels better. Good to put it out there. Get it off my chest. Oh cosmic void, if you've got an answer for me, please don't be shy.

Soft Addictions

This is not a new topic for me but rather an old thorn. I have a slight addiction to my laptop. Its a time and energy "suck". So I've set some boundaries where the "technology" is concerned. I only get to use it when I'm actually sitting down for a break. We all know as a mom those are few and far in between so this will be a fast blog. I'll have to blog in parts rather than one large one each day.

Today is good. Up early, lots of energy. Got to school early, unfortunately, just in time to witness and argument between one of my friends and a woman (I'm reserving the word that comes to mind when I think of this other "lady") who volunteers for the kiss'n'ride. The argument was over parking spots that are blocked off for the k-i-ride. Too many spots are taken up with this little venture IMHO. It was a ridiculous display of bitch-a-tude. Makes me wonder if home schooling isn't the better option to my E dilemma.

I've managed to get a bunch of chores and planning done this morning. The plan for the day is:

Breakfast: Oatmeal w/flaxseed, walnuts, raisins, cinnamon & agave nectar.

Snack: 1/2 c 2% cottage cheese w/blueberry compote

Lunch: Greek salad w/pork loin & half of a small whole wheat bagel

Dinner: My lean version of Chicken Cordon Blue with a side of smashed red potatoes and baked acorn squash.

I plan to go out for a 4K run tonight after the kitchen is cleaned up. Then I might treat myself to half a serving of a blueberry/banana yogurt smoothie after.

Ok break is over....will catch up later.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Well can you believe I haven't had any time to get on here and blog! You got it. I woke up at 6:30 and got the troop downstairs, fed and then guzzled a coffee. Realized some how that an hour had passed and threw myself into the shower and rushed around like a maniac trying to get the boys ready, snack into E's nap sack and shoes on their feet. My hair was still dripping as I drove us to E's school less than 5 minute walk away. We were planning to walk but because I have bad time management issues we were too late leaving the house and would have missed the bell.

Watched E creep out of his line up and follow his old teacher into her JK class. He managed to get his coat, shoes and hat off and put away and his bum in his old chair when the was busted and sent back to his proper line. He says he has no idea what his new teacher's name is. I hate to break it to him but either do the other Gate Moms and I'm counting myself among them.

L and I came home and I whipped him up a snack and I made myself breakfast and had a cup of coffee while I went down my list of phone calls. I managed to get a loud of laundry in the wash and the dishwasher running. Then I crashed. The late night and early morning totally caught up with me. I was a write off for the rest of the morning.

Picked E up from school, got us home, made lunch. Entertained the kidlets until nap time and then went and crashed by 2:30. It was such a good nap! I totally needed it. Managed to get up before husband got home and got the kitchen cleaned and the living room picked up. Husband got home and got me a new propane tank for the BBQ and I started in on making dinner.

So now, dinner is done and the kitchen cleaned. I still have to attend to that inital load of laundry but that's ok. It turned out to be a fair day after all. I was going to go shopping but decided I was going to have a put my feet up kind of night.

The plan was:

2 eggs scrambled with 1 ounce of sharp cheddar cheese, wilted spinach and salsa in an Ezekiel wrap with a banana. Coffee and vitamins.

Turkey Chili

Thai basil beef & broccoli on rice noodles.

Dessert: Fruit/yogurt smoothie

I think I'll treat myself to a couple of episodes of Private Practice to chip away at the reserve I've managed to sit on all winter, spring and summer! Now that's discipline.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

♪♫♪♫ Its The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ♪♫♪♫

E.'s first day of school. The morning started at 6:15 when my alarm went off (technically it started at 5 am when I got up and ripped the plug for L's monitor out of the wall socket!). I got up and collected E. from his bed where he pretended to be sleeping. I could tell he was excited and anxious today. He didn't eat any breakfast and raced around like a whirling Dervish.
That first cup of coffee never tasted better!

Got E. to school a few minutes early so that he could hook up with his school buddies. Half of which were in his new class. The Gate Moms officially hate E.'s new teacher because she is 16 and skinny!! Ok we don't hate her...we just want too LOL

E. had the best day. He came out happy and ran up to L. and yelled hello and I love you! Then proceeded to tell Daddy all about how he loved his first day while I had to run back into the classroom to collect his baseball cap. We walked home hand-in-hand with E. sharing snippets of his day.

Its super quiet in the house now. hubby is working from home on his laptop here on the couch. L is almost sleeping in the arm chair watching "Yo Gabba Gabba" and E. has disappeared upstairs to play with his play dough universe. Sigh.... a very exciting morning.

The plan for the day:

Breakfast: 2 slices of Ezekiel toast with almond butter and banana, coffee and vitamins

Snack: 1/2 cup 2% cottage cheese with blue berry compote

Lunch: Half a baked sweet potato topped with turkey chili & low fat sour cream, an apple and non-sweetened decaf ice tea with lemon slices.

Dinner: Grilled Pork loin, spinach and nectarine salad and a glass of skim milk.

After run snack: Popcorn & Diet coke.

Run Club tonight! Yay! Looking forward to seeing everyone and getting out to stretch my legs.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labour Day Wrap Up

It didn't feel like much got done today and I'm wondering why I'm so tired. I actually felt hung over (without the pleasure of the drink) for much of the day so that contributes to my fatigue. Maybe I'm too old to be staying up past midnight! Tonight its lights out by 10.

We took the kids mini-putting today. What a gorgeous day for it too. We had a blast and I managed to get a hole-in-one. I loved watching how excited L was. He could hardly concentrate. He was quite literally all over the place. E. was a consummate pro. He took his game quite seriously and was devastated when we had reached the 18th hole and upon making his shot realized that the ball was gone. I almost had to carry him to the car, he was crying and carrying on so much. We skipped the McD's play land follow-up plan because he was too upset. Oh well. Better for me that I didn't need to suffer for an hour or so smelling yummy fries when I needed to come home and make myself a real lunch. A vat of diet coke would hardly make up for it.

We got home and I made my Mediterranean salad. Oh that was a 2 thumbs up meal. I'll definitely be putting that into rotation on a regular basis. I'll have to as I've got a nearly full open jar of capers that will need to be polished off. I still need to work out the calories and will continue to do so for a while to make sure my portions are in line.

Dinner was great! I had more than enough time to bake the sweet potatoes and the corn and the fish went on at the same time. We lingered over dinner with Coronas watching the kids suck up milk with those Oreo Sippers (figured it was a great way to bribe L. into drinking milk worked very well).

I'm now stuck upstairs while hubby and the trainer work the dogs over. Its been a trying two weeks since she was last here. Finnigan is acting out and with each stunt he comes closer and closer to realizing his life's ambition-to be a "rescue(d) dog". I've been sorely tempted to pack his hobo bag and kick him to the curb. Casey is fine with the training because a good decision results in a snack. He's such a fat arse!

This is going to be a long hour! I broke "Finding Nemo" upstairs for the boys to watch before bed but they are just bouncing around my ears and its only a matter of time before one or both get hurt. I've threatened to send them to bed and its just about time to make good on the threat. I still have to pick out E.'s clothes for tomorrow and pack his snack.

I've declared that the day will start at 6:30 tomorrow. Yikes :( 6:30! I haven't seen 6:30 since June 26th. The boys have been so good with sleeping in this summer. It seems painful to interrupt that.

Ok so I've cracked. The WWF has been shut down for the night. I could no longer stand the jumping and kicking and wrestling on the bed so they've been shipped off to sleep. Well at least to be in their rooms until they fall asleep. Now I get to sit here and focus on planning for the week ahead. Ahhhh nice!

Good Morning Everyone!

So my plans for the night got a bit derailed when a girlfriend of mine came and kidnapped me. I did spend the better part of the early evening in the kitchen making two separate entrees. I made the chicken cacciatore and the pasta.

In a side skillet, I made my turkey chili. The house smelled fabulous and I was creating such a storm that when all was said and done, I turned and saw the mountain of dishes, pots, pans. Empty cans and discarded boxes. Ughhhh. Cooking was so much easier back when I paid someone to deal with the aftermath. I had to pause while everything simmered to clean up. Hubby took pity on me and helped cut through the debris.

When dinner was eaten and all the mess was sorted out. Jan came by and grabbed me up for my first movie theater experience in more than 5 years. The choice of movie (not mine) was an adjustment. Inglorious Bastards. Not half bad, all-in-all but gory as hell. I watched many scenes from behind my hands. Unfortunately, the gross stuff had not occurred before I ate the popcorn and M&M's. I could have used the nausea to ward off the snacks. I'm not too concerned because after all, it had been 5 years since my last movie theater snack binge. Not likely to let my guard down like that again, any time soon.

We stayed out until 1:30, having coffee chat at Tims. You wouldn't believe the yummy smells that place creates around midnight. We were snapped out of our engrossing conversation by the smell of chocolate cookies at 1:15 and ran home to escape the purchase of said, wonderful cookies. Side effect of late-night coffee chats is that I have a hard time falling asleep after.

Well its just about time for me to get up and make my breakfast and to get the day in gear. The plan is as follows:

Breakfast: Two slices of Ezekiel bread with almond butter and banana slices, coffee & vitamins

Snack: 2% cottage cheese with mixed berry compote

Lunch: Mediterranean tuna salad

Dinner: Cedar plank salmon with baked sweet potato and grilled chili lime corn on the cob.

The plan appears to be mini putt and the dog trainer @7. I'm hoping to get E organized for the morning before we put the kids to bed. I'd really like to get around to working on that Halloween costume before bed. Oooh I'm so excited for tomorrow!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Sunday's Meal Plan

I unfortunately, skipped breakfast. Ultimately, setting me up for a bad day. So to stop that trend in its track I've come up with the plan for the day.

Breakfast: Coffee :P

Lunch: Turkey & cheese, mixed greens with basalmic dressing on an Ezekiel Wrap with a cup of veggie, black bean soup. Banana

Dinner: Chicken Cacciatore on whole wheat fettuccine w/mixed green salad.

Snack: Tortilla chips and salsa and a fruit

I'll be in the kitchen cooking for the better part of the evening making turkey chili and some of the sides for the meals for the week. Hubby plans to take the kids to the park after naps so that will free me up to really get a lot done.

I plan to put L's costume together tonight. I know I said I'd have it done last weekend but I procrastinated. I hate procrastinating.

Menu Planning

Pretty Sunday. There are big potted mums waiting for me at the store with lots of great fruit and veg for me to pick up. My L. ran in to my room this morning to wake me up with a hug and sticky kiss. Wafting the smell of pancake in his wake. Shiny happy children and coffee waiting for me. But hubby seems to want to quarrel but then he is sitting here paying the bills. That would put a bur under my saddle too.

I stayed up late last night watching chick flicks "My Best Friend's Wedding". The couple in the movie have the same wedding song as Ken and I. I was getting all mushy and romantic hearing it. Then "Mean Chicks" but only because I was busy menu planning and didn't have the extra brain cells it would take to choose something else.

I have the lunches and entrees for the week selected. I just need to put them in some logical order according to the day's schedule. For example, Tonight is an easy night so dinner can be more elaborate. Monday is still a holiday but we have a busy day planned with the dog trainer in 7 pm so clean-up needs to be done well in advance. Tuesday is Run Club so dinner must be early and light. The rest of the week is pretty clear so there is no rushing about.

Lunches will be more of a challenge. With E. going back to school and L. and I heading to the gym. Preparing lunch will require some organization and speed. I'm considering doing some of the meals up ahead of time and just keeping them in the fridge so that I don't grab bad choices because I'm too hungry to make my planned lunch. Breakfast on the other hand will be easy and likely a bit boring for the next few weeks while I get used to getting up early again and getting everyone out the door.

Almost have my list complete. Will scarf down some breakfast and head out. I think Ken's got some activities planned for the day so I'll need to get it into gear in the next few mins. Such a lovely day.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Saturday...the write off

I had the best run this morning. Got to catch up with Sheree. Its been awhile since I've been able to run with her. I started running with the idea that I would prefer it to be a solitary exercise but have determined that I much prefer the social aspect of it. I'm sure hoping that Lindsay (my current running partner) decides to take the 10k clinic because otherwise I'm going to be terribly lonely. I'll actually have to run with my thoughts and trust me, that's not good company.

The run today was very good. Only a little stiffness in my calf but unless I thought about it, it could be completely tuned out. A very good thing. I was afraid that my aches and pains were a sign that running would not be in my future. A horrifying thought.

After getting home and getting cleaned up I tried to replenish but I felt so depleted. I think the late night and cosmos caught up with me. I just sorta dragged myself around until 2pm and collapsed into unconsciousness. Three hours later I got up groggy and grouchy. Poor family. Dinner was lousy. Hubby and I are still sort of dragging ourselves around. You'd think that someone drugged us. Too bad they didn't drug the kids too!

Even after park time they are still active and pulling out all the toys and just scattering them about as quickly as I can put them away. I'm getting ready to pull out the garbage bag and get rid of more than half of them. Much of it is just odds and ends that get tossed out of the toy box because they are in the way of the good stuff located, of course, at the bottom.

I'm going to spend sometime tonight planning all the meals for the week and getting any of the ingredients not found in either freezer or pantry onto the grocery list. I didn't go shopping today so its got to get done pretty much first thing tomorrow. Going granola as hubby likes to put it. He wants to over haul his attitude toward food. Which is nice because I've always felt obligated to cook a certain way because he was closed off to things like sweet potatoes, quinoa and kale. Ok he asked for it!

Its another busy week ahead. E. is back in school as of Tuesday morning. Funny thing was that I was so sure that it was Wednesday morning. He almost missed his first day of SK because mommy has fog head. Almost not funny. I'm also headed back to the gym starting Wednesday morning and will go two to three days a week depending on the household schedule. L. will like that. He loved the daycare there.

I'm looking forward to having my schedule back. It would certainly be nice if I could start attending to some of the things that have lapsed since the beginning of summer. A new beginning for more than just kindergarten kids.

Friday, September 4, 2009


Its Friday! I love Fridays! Funny I should say that given pretty much every day of the week could be a Friday (for all I remember what day it actually is). Its true, nonetheless, that when I realize its Friday I get all giddy. Must be an old Pavlov thing. So with that said I'm taking a moment to come up with a plan for the day.

Breakfast: Kashi cereal and coffee
Snack: fruit and almonds
Lunch: turkey sandwich with carrots and hummus
Chicken Cacciatore over whole wheat fettuccine

I had the best time with some friends last night catching up over coffee. We haven't seen much of each other this summer as Laura always heads out to the cottage every weekend from the start of June until after Thanksgiving weekend in October. Christine travels a lot and with scheduling conflicts we just can't get together much before the spare coffees or park dates. We never talk about much in particular but I really enjoy their points of view. Between the three of us we could talk for hours and still feel like we had a lot more to say. Always a great laugh to be had.

I'm feeling a little uninspired today. I think I need to get up and get puttering. I promised myself that I'd cut the fabric for L's costume today. I've also got a mountain of laundry to get to and I know there two sets of drawers that need emptying and sorting so that the clothes that no longer fits can be handed down to someone who could use it. I also need to get rid of the clothes in my drawers that I know I will never wear again. No sense hanging on to something that is taking up space.

Time to start snipping the ties that bind. Baby steps....

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Recap of the Day

Ok so take plan and throw plan out window. That's about as effective as the plan was today.

So what did happen? I spent part of my morning fuming over the fact that hubby went to work. Then the rest of it was spent drifting from room-to-room cataloging what needed to be done (even though none of it got done today). I didn't get the chance to make my smoothie because at the last minute I was packing the kids up and headed to Toronto to get pick hubby up and bring him home, WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! Bad dog!

We got home in time for me to make lunch and play for a bit before nap time. I was exhausted and didn't have a very good reason for it. I suppose it was all the running around. I took out some chicken for dinner because I remembered that I picked up corn and some potatoes for baking, so why not grill something? Yes exactly! Save the kitchen cooking for when its absolutely necessary.

I did make a fairly good dinner. Grilled chicken glazed with honey and chili, baked potatoes and corn on the cob. I got out for my run. A simple 4K and it felt ok. My right calf was still a bit stiff but nothing major. I find I run too fast when I run by myself. No way to keep a slower pace. Got my run done in about 25 mins. Showered, stretched and will be grabbing my ice for my leg in a minute.

Maybe I can whine a little and get hubby to make me a cup of tea? Its nice that this day is over. I'm hoping that tomorrow I can actually get something done.

The Plan

Ok so enough of this lallygagging. Yep, mad at husband for sneaking out and going to work. Not crazy about having my feelings dismissed. He knows he's a bad dog and is now doing time in the dog house. I hope he enjoys the view! (I know you're reading this too...bad doggie!)

I need to formulate the plan and get with it. Haven't eaten breakfast yet but floating between coffee pot and computer and kids. So now I'm putting my mind to work for a change.

Breakfast: though late...will be fruit/yogurt, oatmeal, flaxseed smoothie

Lunch: poached chicken on a bed of greens with feta, olives and balsamic dressing.

Snack: carrots and hummus

Dinner: Asian Shredded Pork on rice noodles with steamed carrots and broccoli.

Dessert/snack: Popcorn and C/F diet coke (cause I bloody well feel like it LOL) I'm planning to watch at least two episodes of Private Practice tonight to help get through what I PVR'd from Jan.

I'm not going out for coffee or drinks as originally planned last week. Instead, I'm going for a run before the kids go to bed (because the sun is setting earlier and earlier these days) I want the option of going a bit further than 4k if I feel up to it.

Hoping the rest of the day is incredibly non-eventful! If you're still reading this, hubby....Bad Doggie!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

So Happy

that this day is almost over. I'm just winding down so that I can go upstairs and actually sleep. So earlier I mentioned that my husband went to the doctors. Well he went to the emergency room of Toronto General complaining of crushing chest pain and difficulty breathing! Yeah, I know!

Turns out it was a bad reaction to a drug that was prescribed to help rule out a sinus infection as the root of his chronic headaches. When both the triage nurse and hubby told me the blood test they were waiting for was to figure out if hubby had had a heart attack I almost dropped. My biggest fears flashing before my eyes.

I had some of my girlfriends help me track him down (because at this point I had no real idea where he was) and I threw the kids into the car and headed to Toronto. Now, though I lived there or 5 years I never drove around in Toronto where I wasn't on a major route, ie, DVP or Lakeshore so navigating University Avenue to get to the hospital was stressful. Add in the chatter of my two excited children, I thought for sure I'd jump right out of my skin.

I found the hospital (right next door to where my husband works and have never been, incidentally) and found parking. Got the kids into the jogging stroller...yep that's right I fastened them in cause there was no way I was scrambling around with two little ones in such a busy area. Got into the emerg, got to my husband's side to find out that they wouldn't let me stay with the kids. Too risky for them. So I took them, got them a snack and sat on a bench in Queen's Park (beautiful building by the way...never been there either) and just took in the sun and breeze and the city noises.

Almost 2 hours later hubby calls and says he's been discharged. We can go home. 2 hours later we get home after battling traffic all the way. I've never been so happy to be home! No way I was leaving hubby home alone with the way he was feeling.

Still in lots of pain, unable to draw full breaths. Feeling dizzy. I'm keeping him home tomorrow too even if I have to hobble him to make that happen! Sorry to have missed Run Club but in truth, I've been running all day! Oh and don't even ask me if I stayed On Plan today...Sometimes life just doesn't work that way.


Last night my husband decided to make himself some icecream. On top of which he likes to pour warmed strawberry jam (too sweet even for the sweet tooth in me but whatever). I guess he dropped the small bowl he used to warm the jam in and tried to clean it up. He came to bed and confessed what he had done and I said to him that if my feet stick to the floor in the morning that he shouldn't be surprised if his head spontaneously explodes.

Of course, I get up and pad into the kitchen to have my slippers make that tell-tale rasping sound. Yep, my feet are sticking to the floor with ever step I make. GRRRRRRRR! So I sweep and mop the floor chuckling while I do it because I'm sure somewhere my husband's head has just exploded.

A few minutes later my husband calls to get the information on the RX he is taking for sinus issues (which I think is a bum diagnosis-he has chronic headaches). He tells me that he can't breathe and his head is bothering him that he is rushing off to the doctors to find out what's going on. Then a few minutes later he calls me to get the proper spelling of the actual drug name (not brand name) of the nasal spray.

Ok so that was a few hours ago. I'm left here with no update thinking that he is still at the hospital! What's happening? Did I actually make his head explode? Is he getting a CAT Scan!? What the hell? Come on...already, where is the update? Of course his phone is not on!

Was going to take the boys to the park so they could run around but feel compelled to sit here by the phone on until I hear what happened. Not fun, not even close.