Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My Visit

It often happens that when I have a lot on my mind I don't write any of it down.  That's why the blog as been so quiet.  Just too much going on!  Where has my head been?  Well, pull up a chair and I'll tell you!

There were a bunch of changes that happened in the last few months.  I've been doing a lot of house cleaning.  Personal habits, unwelcome people, unwelcome thoughts.  Change can be a good thing.  Embracing it rather than fighting against it, is like tucking and rolling.  If you're headed for a fall you might as well fall right and not get injured.  That's exactly what I am doing.  Pulling away from the things that have been eroding my happiness and productivity and rededicating myself to bigger, brighter things.  Things that make me happy.  Things that keep me busy and in service to my family, friends and community.

Today, as I was sitting at my desk waiting for inspiration.  My desk really being my kitchen table with my laptop, coffee cup and planner.  From my seat I can see out the big patio door into the yard.  The yard looks pretty horrible.  I neglected to put my garden away for the winter and I can see some patches of weeds that were dispatched last year in the frost but were never tended too.  There are pool toys scattered about.  I also see that I'll need to get another yard of sand to level the ground before I can put the pool up this season.  Lately, whenever I look out this window all I see is the huge amount of work it's going to take to spruce up the yard.  The deck that needs to be refinished.  The ever so long list of regret for my procrastination.  Today, I looked beyond it and saw something else.

Perched on the privacy wall, on the edge of part of my herb garden, a Robin.  He was beautiful.  He was grooming himself and singing.  Taking a sip of water from an overflowing flower pot that wasn't put away a long with the rest of my straggly looking containers.  I watched him for the better part of an hour.  When I realized how much time had passed while I sat in wonder of this bird I realized that it didn't matter.  I felt peaceful.  As if it were no less important that I sit and watch the life that teams outside my window than the tasks I laid out in front of me.  What I did in that moment was the nicest thing I did for myself all day.

For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver. - Martin Luther

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I believe changes can happen

I have only a few more days in my Lenten Journey for this year.  What I have discovered so far is that nothing I gave up, that has been  in practice for years, was easy-peasy to do so.  I had found myself stymied a few times by links that I could not click.  Then it was things I could not google.  The pings of my Blackberry and the conversation notifications I couldn't entertain.  I know that along the way I lapsed but instead of calling it a day, I started over.  I considered it a process.  One that taught me a few things.  I might reveal those a little later but not just yet.

It's no secret that I'm pretty anti-technology.  I still remember, all too well, the "2003 Blackout"  Suddenly, my world, the center of the Canadian universe (Toronto) was stopped cold in its normally hectic tracks.  The power went out and so did all the technology.  A person couldn't even cross the street without scrambling to get out of the way of errant traffic.  Wow!  Talk about an eye opener.  Sure it only lasted for a few days but having to reinvent an urban life without aid of any modern convenience was enough for me to vow to never get caught unprepared.

Earth Hour happened tonight.  I'm still a little skeptical about its purpose but my children are at that fantastic age where they believe changes can really be made.  It's infectious and couldn't resist coming up with a fun way to celebrate it.  A huge bowl of popcorn and board games by candle light.  Though I've been struck down with another school house cootie and couldn't sit at the table to play with the guys.  I enjoyed them and an article on the Obama's Health Care reforms, the erosion of religious freedoms and the undermining of the constitution of the United States.   The article had a lot of legal-ease and required me to re-read some paragraphs.  Squinting in the dim light and watching the silhouettes of my boys. A pause in the play brought on a round of shadow puppets.  Giggles and silly jokes.  I loved it!

In the last few minutes before technically we were allowed to turn the lights and gizmos back on we snuggled on the couch and chatted.  Talked about what we liked best about the last hour.  What we thought it meant.  What we'd like to do next time.  We liked our time in the dark so much that the rest of the bedtime routine was done by candle light.  A definite success.

Now the rest of my night is spent in a quiet peace.  Matching the kids socks and sipping tea.  Sometimes the best things in life are just right under a person's nose.  Sometimes you have to give up the things that tie you down so that you can soar.