Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Blue Skies, Heat Alerts and Staycations

I have to admit I didn't count on it ever getting very hot let alone into heat alerts.  Not even sure when the last time I actually felt it rain.  Sort'a wish it would though.  My herb garden has fallen prey to both the arid temps and my seasonal laziness.  I haven't felt like dragging out the sprinkler each day to put down the required water.  The grass is dry and crunchy underfoot.   I'm not too worried though, the grass will recover and the herb garden can be replanted when I feel a little less lazy.

Of course I say this after I spent a few hours floating around on my pink flowered blow-up lounger.  The kids graciously heeded the pool to me while they warmed up and ate their lunch on the deck.  I leapt at the opportunity to enjoy the pool sans splashing and giant whales.  I'm now a little too pink but can still say it's a great way to waste a morning.

What a great way to while away the summer days.  Beach trips, camping and amusement parks.  Some lazy days just doing the staycation thing.  Never venturing much further than Tim's for morning coffees and the store for more ice or beer and returning promptly to the deck chairs or pool.

My friends and I have taken most of our runs off road and we are taking the tours of Durham Forest each weekend.  It's a brilliant way to keep up the mileage when the thought of another road run is comparable to getting teeth drilled at the dentist.  My only regret was that I had not purchased a can of Deep Woods Off, earlier.  I can safely say that I've been some happy bug's lunch.

The kids are affording me my usual workout routines.  What can I say?  They are champs.  They are pretty portable and happy just about anywhere.  I'm enjoying them more and more as they get older.  I write this as I watch them ride these huge blow-up whales.  L believes that he's Luke Skywalker with an empty bubble stick for a light saber in one hand fighting for justice and for good.  E believes his whale is real and wants to feed him.  I love their imaginations.  It reminds me of how great childhood can be, especially when the biggest drama they experience is the fight over what flick to watch on movie nights.

I love summer, though I don't like the intense heat I've certainly found ways around jacking up the a/c or sitting on an ice block to enjoying my holidays.  The only thing left to do is level the pool properly and get the chemical mix just right so that I can stop fretting over the chemistry.  I can certainly say I've learned things this summer.  Pool chemistry is one.  How to be deliciously lazy is another, as I write this blog pool-side.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Motherhood, The Truth.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.  ~Linda Wooten

You know I make a lot of jokes about motherhood being like a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.  I get frustrated and a little flustered from time-to-time but here is the straight story about how I really feel about my job.

I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with moms nearly every day.  Some have newborns, some have kids just entering puberty and some that are all grown up and have flown the nest.  I even have some friends that have kids in all those stages of life.  There is one thing that can be equally said of us.  We all balance our days with taking care of them, our spouses, the house, the pets, and lastly ourselves.  We do these things in this order.  Why?  Because by the call of nature, this is the order of our lives.  When we see that the stick turns a different colour we instinctively put down our own needs in the service of a greater good.  The time honoured role of simply being "mom".

When I felt my first son, a tiny flutter, or rather it felt more like a tiny air bubble tickling the inside of my womb.  I just knew that I'd lay down my life to protect that little being in an instant and without conscious thought if the event ever manifested itself.  That is a fact I have never questioned.  I also realized that being a mom has been the only thing I've ever really wanted for my life.  Not riches or career status.  There isn't anything that money could buy that could persuade me to give up this post.  Nothing.

My kids are my everything.  Now I love my husband and he knows it's depth but the love I have for my kids is visceral.  I'd defend them with a force that couldn't be contained.  I stand watch over them in sickness and health.  I gently guide them through their day and evening.  I shield them through the night in the face of bad dreams.  Welcome their smiling faces at obscenely early hours of the morning when the chance to sleep in was  possible.  I have even had a fight with their dad,  in a sleep-deprived haze, over who would get to comfort E one night when he had a bad dream and woke crying.  They know that I'd move heaven and earth for them and if there was any doubt about that, certainly I've reminded them every day of their lives and will continue to do so.

I don't need a day to give reverence to what I do.  I don't expect a thank you or a reward.  I do what I do freely and with everything that is in my body and soul.  Sometimes I may crave some peace and quiet.  Sometimes I may make jokes that they are driving me crazy and it's a short trip.  Sometimes I may even be excited that it's date night and the babysitter has just rung the door bell.  But here's the thing...I never ever stop being a mom.  They are never out of my mind.  I am always thinking of them, concerned for them, loving them.  Always.  That's just how I feel.  What my husband, their father feels is a mirrored force.  My kids don't want for love or nurturing, that's for sure.

I wish that every child, ever born is as loved as mine.  Sadly, we know this isn't the case.   I shake my head.  I wonder how that could possibly be.  The thought tears this mother's heart.