Friday, February 18, 2011


This blog is dedicated to...what else?  Confessions.

1.) The sharpest scissors in my kitchen belong to my kids and I use them for everything!

2.) If I were given a choice between chocolate cake and french fries, I'd pick the french fries!  Especially, if I could use them as the spoon for a McDonald's sundae.

3.) I generally hate people and I don't really discriminate on which people.  Oh wait, that's not entirely true.  I really hate stupid people!  Everyone else I merely tolerate.

4.)  I dropped (by accident, clearly) one of my kids when they were a baby.  I'm not telling you which one.  I'll let you try to figure that one out. *giggle*

5.)  I often wonder why I'm not an alcoholic or locked up in a loony bin.

6.)  I have cleaned my oven on Earth Day while running my dishwasher during that magic hour when we are supposed to be sitting in the dark singing Kumbaya.  I'm no sheep! 

7.)  I used to chain smoke.  Yeah, that was stupid.  Now I feel the unnerving urge to slew foot anyone I see smoking.

8.)  Have a unfinished knitting project dating back from 2004.  It will likely never be finished even though I see it every morning when I wake up.

9.)  I can raise nearly a winter's worth of organic fruit, veg and herbs in my backyard but cannot keep a simple house plant alive for longer than a few months.  Even the drought-resistant ones!

10.)  There is a spider web in the corner of a window in my upstairs hallway that's been there since I moved into my house....5 years ago!

11.)  Suspects that I am the only one in the house that recycles and changes the toilet paper rolls.

12.)  Hates people who park next to me in school parking lots.  They vary every day and with every pick up/drop-off so I don't discriminate.  If you've parked next to me....I hate your guts.  Not everyone drives a sardine can and I don't appreciate needing a can opener to get my GD door open! 

And lastly...

13.)  Doesn't much matter if you've read this blog or if you actually knew any of these random facts about me.  However, that said.  If I made you chuckle then that pleases me.

OK, nothing else to see here.  Move a long.

***edited to add this note:  I should have written a paragraph stating that I was writing this blog while in a snarky mood.  It's true that I have tendencies toward crumudgeoness but it's usually tempered with a wicked sense of humour.  Now that I read this blog again it occurs to me that only people who really know me would recognize that it's written in that spirit.  ***

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

This moment of clarity is brought to you by....

There are just days when I crawl into my happy place.  You know that place that's kept at the back of one's mind.  That center of calm, peace and perfect light.  It's only acheived by sticking your fingers into your ears and humming loudly while rocking back and forth.

That happy place is crammed in with the clutter of a lifetime.  The cobwebs of memories from a fun, free youth.  The mental pictures of bucket lists, of long lost hobbies, longings for lipstick, nail polish and this season's clothes.  Stashed so far back into the recesses that it takes effort to climb over the horded stash.  Things held on to for a time when it could be pulled out again, reexamined and repurposed.  That moment when the kids move out.

That's how parenthood makes me feel sometimes.  Oh sure, I love being a Mommy.  It has it's payoff, certainly.   I have two fabulous little boys.  Still there are just days when I wonder to myself.  "Just what the hell was I thinking?"  Sure when it's measured up against the things that I put aside like privacy in the bathroom and the ability to eat or drink anything while it's still hot or even the ability to read a paragraph once without hearing that ear piercing shrill of "Mommy...L just hit me!"  .  Parenthood wouldn't exactly shine.

I suppose anything that continually gnaws away at sanity, even my tenuous grasp at sanity, it's apt to look a little flawed.  This morning is no exception.  A day like any other day.  The usual morning routine well under way.  Breakfast eaten, kids dressed and on our way to a school drop off.  The kids playing an annoying game of slap, squeal and kick.  My usual response of telling the boys to knock it off ignored.  Then asking them why they continue if they know it's only making me angry?  Then it escalating to full on anger and scoldings.

Two minutes later I'm fighting the unreasonable battle of trying to give the eldest boy instructions on how to retreive the other child's toy from between the carseat and the door only to find that the eldest doesn't have a clue how to listen long enough to hear the instructions.  It was at that moment that I snapped and went running to the happy place.  Once safetly inside, I sat and stared out the window for a moment thinking that they had finally acheived it.  They owned me. Why on Earth was I even having that conversation?  Why was I trying to reason with these beings who couldn't be reasoned with?  How had they worked me into this place?

Five minutes later, in the school yard, I could hear another mother having the exact same arguement with her kids. An instant replay of my own melodrama but with a taller stand-in.  Whoa....apparently, they are trained in the womb to be terrorist.  We aren't bad mommys for wanting some peace.  We've got Stockholm Syndrome!

I looked down at E, smartly, and declared that I hoped someday he and his brother would grow up and get married and have a bunch of kids just like them.  And if he asks me to babysit he could expect to hear some very loud laughing.   Now I understand why grandparents become snowbirds!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Day After The Prediction

What can I say....dude knows his shit!  There was no chance of him seeing his shadow on the ground yesterday.  We got a nice sized snow dump and the sun never peaked out behind the clouds.

Though we pretty much knew we'd declare a snow day it didn't exempt us from being up early.  What can I say?  I've got young kids.  Once I made the executive decision after consulting the authorities...Facebook; Twitter; CP24; and then the view from the front porch, I began pouring what would be an endless stream of coffee.

We huddled together on the couch to watch the footage of our favourite vermin. Punxsutawney Phil.  He is the oracle of all things related to spring predictions.  If he says it then it must be so!  Right?

But just in case, I'm going to try and wring out whatever fun I can get in the next few months.  The snowshoe running was hard, thrilling and offered a chance to take the road/trail less traveled and that has made all the difference!

Sheree, Frank and I (and their two beautiful dogs, Muggins and Sam) exploring the trails in Durham Region.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Don't you threaten me, Buddy!

The fear mongering has started.  Doom they say! Doom....the sky is falling and it's going to dump 20-30 cm of snow.  Oh big deal.

Oh that's right the last time this happened they called in the army and all of the prairie provinces chuckled smugly.

I'm all about preplanning.  Cancel whatever isn't essential.  Stock up on whatever I'd need in the next two to three days if for whatever reason the roads were impassable.  Perhaps even visit the liquor barn and get a couple bottles of nice wine to go with that winter stew and crusty bread.  Sit back and enjoy watching the view from the windows.

Venture out on foot in the snowshoes for some exercise and to survey the newly painted landscape.  Dig the skating rink out a little and glide a long under the falling snow, defend the snow fort against the war waging kidlets.  Shoveling is the only activity that is essential.  I've got a collection of craft supplies for the kids, magazines and knitting projects for myself.  Though honestly, I can't imagine this snowmageddon offering much more than a diversion and a guarantee that the Groundhog will not see his shadow tomorrow.

What would you do if you were snowed in?