Thursday, March 18, 2010

Just one of those days

Have you ever had one of those days when your thoughts and feelings are not your own? I don't mean that someone has taken over my mind with radio signals, though that would be pretty cool. I wonder if that would hurt? I digress.

Today is one of those days for me. I woke up feeling just fine. I remembered that I had to get the boys up early and fed, dressed, lunches organized and out the door for Karate Camp. After all that was accomplished I just felt lost. A little bummed. Then after spending a little time at Chapters and the Library and coming home to an empty house. Wasting a few minutes on the computer I started feeling ever more bummed.

Then the crazy thoughts start to happen. Sheree calls these the chattering monkey thoughts. The kind that just create so much noise in your brain that it's hard to think of anything constructive. When I get like that and have those thoughts I start to wonder about my self-worth. Just what exactly am I contributing to my kids, husband and friends? Am I valued for what I do contribute or is it all noise? I then took a peak at my calender to see if there was something I was forgetting to do (which would have been expected given that I haven't been able to hold a solid train of thought all week). Yep, it's that week. PMS week.

I swear I think guys have it made. They don't have to deal with the circus of hormones. The invasion of our personalities and energy levels. The way our bodies bloat and cramp. They tread lightly and get barked at certainly but it's nothing compared to our hell.

Part of my weird mood might have been due to the fact that I didn't eat breakfast. I did have two large barista drinks. A decaf cappuccino at the library and a grande decaf non-fat latte from Starbucks. Why? I didn't get the chance to drink my morning coffee so I must have been feeling deprived.

Lunch was a gorgeous huge salad. A mix of organic Italian greens and organic baby spinach. Tomatoes, orange bell pepper, cucumber, Kalamata olives, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, salba and herbed goat cheese with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette. I toasted half of a whole wheat pita and put it on the side. So good. Definitely made up for the lack of breakfast and craptacular food I've been eating during my last few days of pity party.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in solitude. Just me and a bit of a Anne Hathaway marathon. First up "Bride Wars" then while I munched on an organic orange and a cup of Sencha I caught most of "Becoming Jane". Hopped in the shower to feel a bit more human (sorta worked) then dashed out to pickup the boys.

I was so happy to see the boys. They never let me feel bad for long. They are just too freak'n cute. When I got to the dojo they were in the big grass lot on the other side of the parking lot. They had out a huge pile of outdoor toys. Hoops, tunnels, balls, frisbees, bubbles. Each child had a huge multicoloured Popsicle. My boys looked like they had been dipped like Easter Eggs. I swear the blue isn't going to come off E.'s face!

Husband decided against Karate tonight so dinner got to be served at a decent hour.

I was supposed to make the fish last night for dinner but my husband requested burgers. So the fish was put off until tonight. That said. I made a quinoa pilaf with onions, bell pepper, sun dried tomatoes, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and vegetable stock. I dredged the sole fillets in spelt flour with some spices and pan fried it quickly. Made for a really nice dinner.

Sorry that my pictures all look sort of bluish. I was having trouble with the flash not going off and the dishes looking too dark then I realized too late that I had the camera on the program selection and there isn't an existing programmed setting there yet. So no flash and the saturation is the pits. Oh well. Tomorrow's pictures ought to look normal.

Not much planned for the night. I'm starting to wind down. I've had a little bit of a headache since around 2 pm so I think I'm going to make a cup of tea and go to bed and read once the kids are in their rooms. It's already past their bedtimes. I think I'm just eager to have done with this day. If it weren't for it being Spring Break I'd be happy to be done with this week. PMS is horrible. I wouldn't wish it on my enemies. Ok, so maybe I would *snort*

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