Quiet

Taking some simple time off has lead to some interesting insights.  I spend a lot less time mindlessly surfing the net and being sucked into social media, than I had assumed.  There's always been a degree of guilt associated with these activities for me.  Perhaps I just thought I spent too much time on them.  I've come to this conclusion after only a few short days into my Lenten Journey.  

I had naively assumed that with the time I wasn't spending "surfing" that I'd have time to lavish on my family, get those dreaded tasks around the house started.  Be on top of my work and still have time to take up a new hobby.  I was so mistaken.  I've only been afforded a few short minutes here and there.  Sure you'd think they'd add up to some real time saved.  No.  Not even close.

This has been a very busy week.  But aren't they all?  I don't often get days when there isn't something that has to be accomplished under the gun.  So where did all that surfing time come from?  What had I been neglecting?  Perhaps it needs more time to reveal the answer to that.

There is no background noise except the birds in the front hall having their endless conversations.  The days when the kids are in school the house is very still.  Only the activity at hand provides the back drop of atmosphere.  I did take a short break to sit and have a cup of tea and do nothing.  What an adventure that was.  Clearly that requires discipline.  I wasn't able to sit long at all without the impulse that I shouldn't just be sitting there.  I had the need to multitask or it was wasted time.  

In this quiet my thoughts explode.  I can't seem to keep them in order.  Wonderful ideas, the endless making of mental lists.  A parade of memories stream in and out to their own beat.  Then there are the unfinished arguments that get their exercise.  It has only been a few short days but already I've worked through some niggling issues and feel a lot less harassed.  

I'm enjoying this solitude.  The first day felt awkward.  Knowing there was something I wasn't "allowed" to do. Reaching for the computer or blackberry to realize that it was merely the need to break the habit.  By the second day I wasn't even feeling the desire to check in.  Each day gets easier.  I wonder that at the end of the 46 days that I'll even think about it anymore.  I wonder at why this doesn't seem to bother me.  

Perhaps being so "connected" isn't a good thing after all.