Saturday, November 5, 2011


The TV only needs to be on for five minutes in my house and the next thing I know I'm being followed all over my house by two boys chatting me up about the latest greatest toy they've seen on whatever TV show they conjured to market this rotten little piece of future landfill fodder.

Of course these toys are made of some of the worst offending materials ever manufactured by man and chemistry.  Some have been nothing short of scandalous for being painted up with lead then aimed at children who haven't made it out of the mouthing phase.

Some of these toys last for about two weeks before being broken.  Anything with small parts lasts just long enough to be sucked up into the vacuum.  I'm still wondering why Lego doesn't include crazy glue with their larger more elaborate sets.  The Death Star doesn't really look like the imposing weapon it's supposed to be after two days with my guys.  It just gets torn down to a heaping pile of shapes.  There is no talking Dad into rebuilding it even if we've kept the "Sears Wish Book" of directions it comes with.

Today I had to dash into Walmart to buy a toy for a child I don't even know.  I called home while wondering the aisles to ask my son what he thought his friend might like.  He rattled off every toy he's ever seen this boy play with and after naming every piece of sport equipment at leisure, I was still at a loss.  Now with my boys we've discovered that the box the toy comes in can often be more fun than the actual toy but that wasn't going to cut it for this classmates birthday party.  I needed a plan.  I needed a clue.

I started polling the unsuspecting but overwhelmed mothers that were likely wandering those aisles for the very same reason.  What do you buy the boy who is very athletically inclined but likely has all that stuff?  Of course they looked at me like I was crazy.  My hair sticking all out of my braid and my dirty wet run gear.  I'm not even going to tell you how badly I must have smelled.  If I said I reeked of desperation one might think it were true.

After another couple of minutes has passed and I've picked up and put down a few more things.  After a while some of these crazy toys all start to look the same.  Board games have gotten complicated too.   What I wouldn't have done for a light up in the dark yo-yo at this point.  Do they even make those any more?  Close my eyes and grab.  That's it.  Done.  A non-decision is still a decision.  Perhaps I can blame the poor choice on the child.

Purchased.  Wrapped.  Gift sitting in the car.  My son looks up at me and says "Mom did you get James the new Bakugan Sky Raiders?"

Are you kidding me?

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