Saturday, June 18, 2011

Waging War!

My knee has been a little achy since yesterday afternoon so instead of going out for a group 8K I'm at home waging war.  Now normally the first line of defence in my organic garden is the curse.  Yep, each morning I inspect my garden and when I see that either my wiener dog has been sitting in my strawberry patch, yet again or some critter has been munching my lettuce I stand there and shake my fist uttering threats of bodily harm.  This ought to be enough to intimidate at least one of the guilty offenders.

Second line of defence.  Beer.  A dish of my husband's favourite Mill Street (which my husband in the freezer to chill but was forgotten and frozen...perish the thought that the slugs get the viable stuff) gets offered to the Garden Gods.  Libations for all that needs satiating.  Sometimes it's the very same offending wiener dog and he gets a little too sleepy to finish off what is left of my strawberries *grrrrrr*  Mostly this helps keep the slug population down and away from my mixed lettuces, as this year my boarder of red lettuce doesn't seem to be doing it's job.

When the beer has been exhausted then comes more cursing and hand picking which is just as gross as it sounds.  The neighbours must love this.  Dressed like a doll and swearing like a sailor and visibly not pleased with the task.  Once I've exhausted that then comes the heavy artillery. Nematodes! 

This is an ugly death for any offending non-wiener dog garden offender.  Bio-warfare.  Take that you slimy little bastards!  Then comes the inevitable pleasure I take in saying the word Nematodes in various silly voices while I prep the back yard to be nuked down. Nematodes.  Nematodes...Nematoooooodesssss

This chick plays dirty.  That's what happens to the little creeps that get between me and a summer salad especially on days when I'd rather be running with the girls.  What a way to take out my frustrations!

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